CHAPTER SEVEN
"Hey, dad!...dad?...dad! Are you awake?"
"Huh? Wha...why, yes I am, Harry. Just getting ready to go back to work, as a matter of fact. What gets you up so early? It is early, isn't it?"
"Yeah, dad. It is! I just didn't want to wake John and Marty. You know what I mean?"
"No, Harry, I don't think I do."
Well, I figured I'd get up real early and go shovel some sidewalks before school. That way we'll have enough for the table tonight. And to tell you the truth, Dad, John sure ain't much help. He just ain't strong enough to do heavy work."
"Son, I know you mean well, but it's just too cold for you to go out and shovel sidewalks."
"I could wrap up real good, dad. If I wait until after school the snow might be melted and then we won't have much for supper."
"Something will turn up, son. I'm just not going to let you go out and do it this morning."
"Aw, dad, please...I know me and you can go without eating, but the girls can't. Neither can Marty and John."
"Something will turn up, Harry. We've never gone hungry yet, have we?"
"No. But, gosh, dad! Things are going so bad lately that I'm scared."
"Don't be, son. We'll make it."
"Okay, dad...if you say so. Want me to fix breakfast for you? How about that grapefruit now?"
"It's a little too early for me, son. I guess I don't exercise enough these days to develop much of an appetite. I'll wait until later."
"How about a cup of coffee? We've still got some of that instant stuff."
"Why, that sounds like a winner, Harry. Think you can fix it all right?"
"Sure, dad. Just the way your like it."
"Fine, son." "Say, dad -- "
"Yes."
"Would it be all right if I went on ahead and fixed me some bacon and eggs? Alice won't be getting up for a while, and I'm pretty hungry?"
"Pretty? Or just hungry?"
"Just hungry. And pretty too, because people say I look just like you."
"Harry, you'll grow up to be a politician someday. Go on and fix whatever you want."
"Sure you don't want something to eat, too, dad?"
"I'm sure, son. The coffee will be enough."
"Want me to turn on the radio so you can hear the news?"
"Do you mean we've still got that thing?"
"Sure. It's setting on back of the sink like it always does. Why?"
"Oh, nothing. I just thought we got rid of it awhile back."
"Nope. We started to, but we hocked the mixer instead. Don't you remember?"
"You're right, son. I just wasn't thinking."
"I'll turn it on for you."
"Okay."
What do you think of that Harry for a son? Imagine him wanting to go out and shovel snow before he goes to school. One thing he'll never be, no matter what he does when he's grown up, is lazy. I just hope luck is with me today, though. I've never lied to him yet, but to tell you the truth, I just don't know what we'll have for supper.
"Harry! Do you have to play the radio so loud? Good morning, dad."
"Up so early, Wonderland? What's the matter...bad night?"
"No. It was all right. But the way Harry is rattling and banging things in the kitchen and playing the radio, he'll wake the neighbors."
"I guess his is at that. What time is it, anyway?"
"About six-thirty."
"Huh...later than I thought it was. Well, you'd better burry on into the kitchen and help Harry. If he handles the plates like he's handling the pans, he'll break them all for sure."
"He sure won't have many to break. we're down to six plates."
"I know, Wonderland. But we wouldn't want the neighbors to think we were throwing things either And you know Harry never does anything half way. When he drops a dish it sounds like it had to come off the top of a ten story building."
"You're right about that, dad."
"Hey, dad!"
"Yes, Marty."
"Did you ever do any boxing?"
"No, Marty. I can't say that I ever did"
"Did you ever see a boxing match like a heavyweight or something?"
"No. But I saw a World Series ballgame once."
"I know that, dad. You told me before. But do you know the rules for boxing."
"I'm afraid I don't, Marty, Why do you ask?"
"Well, I had this dream last night, and I was beating the champion of the world, but they gave the fight to him on a tech-nac-cle."
"You shouldn't take your dreams so seriously, son. A champion is pretty hard to beat, anyway."
"Yeah. But a champion is 'posed to fight fair, ain't he?"
"Ain't is not good grammar, son. Yes, a champion always plays fair. That's what makes him a champion."
"Then how come every time I knocked him down some guy hit me in the back of the head with a hammer and a bell rung?"
"Dreams are like that sometimes, Marty."
"Aw...that wasn't no dream, pop. That was just Harry and his doggone elbows."
"Good morning, John. Why are you blaming Harry for Marty's dream?"
"Yeah, John. I guess I ought to know what happened in my own dream."
"You just imagined it, that's all. It was just Harry punching you. That's what it was."
"I don't think Harry would deliberately do something like that, John."
"He sure did, pop. Your bed is sure comfortable but Harry's an old bed hog. You'd a thought he was wrestling snakes, the way he kept swinging his arms all night."
"Hah! I guess you just had a dream too, smarty."
"I did not, Marty. And don't you go trying to say I did."
"Whoa down, you two. Before you get to arguing too much about dreams, you'd better go tell Alice how you want your eggs fixed."
"All right, dad."
"Yeah, I want mine scrambled."
"You ought to try them some other way for a change, John."
"Aw...who likes changed eggs."
"Is Laurie awake yet? John? -- Marty? --JOHN? MARTY?"
"What, dad? Did you call or something?"
"Marty, how many times have I told you not to run through the house like that?"
"Sorry, dad. I forgot."
"Is Laurie awake yet?"
"Oh, sure. She's up in the bathroom reading and brushing her hair. Alice told her she couldn't come down to breakfast until she done it a thousand times."
"A thousand? Are you sure it wasn't just a hundred?"
"That's right, a hundred. I got mixed up."
"Well, son, you're going to have to pay more attention to your numbers if you expect to get by in this world."
"It ain't the numbers that bother me, dad. It's those dopey letters and things. Can I go eat now, dad?"
"May I-- "
May I go eat now, dad?"
"Are your hands clean?"
"Yes, sir."
"All right."
Marty is such a fine little fellow. He gets some screwball notions at times, but what nine-year-old doesn't? If you don't watch him, though, he'll get you and himself both confused by his own thinking. But at least he asks questions.
I remember once when he was about seven. He wanted a bus for his birthday. I made it a point to take him shopping in a couple of toy stores but nothing on the shelves seemed to excite him. Then after we got back t the street, he suddenly started jumping up and down and pointed happily at a city bus on the corner. I had a hell of a time trying to explain that we didn't have enough room in our apartment to park it. After he got that all digested, he changed his mind and asked for a train. I wasn't about to find out whether he meant a toy or not. I bought him a pair of roller skates and dropped the whole matter.
"And just who do I hear sneaking around the corner?"
"Oh, daddy. You spoiled my surprise. Ummmm...ummma...I love you."
"Ummmma. I love you too. But why so many kisses and hugs so early in the morning, Laurie?"
"Oh, I just felt like it."
"Must have been a pretty good night, huh?"
"Uh-huh. But, daddy, I wish you'd make Alice quit picking on me."
"Now, Laurie, that's not fair. You know that Alice doesn't pick on you."
"Yes, she does, daddy. She made me brush my hair so many times this morning that it feels like it's coming out at the roots."
"Brushing is good for your hair. It makes it shine and makes you look pretty. You do want to be pretty, don't you?"
"Yes. But I won't be if I'm bald-headed."
"You won't be. Did you get all straightened out on that other business?"
"What other business?"
"That...ah...uh...stuff about babies and things."
"Oh, sure. There's not much to it really. But it sure is scary at first."
"Yes, I guess it is."
"Do I get to fix your breakfast this morning, daddy?"
"No, Laurie. I'm not much hungry."
"Daddy, you've got to eat something or you'll shrivel up to nothing."
"Well, you go on into the kitchen with the rest of the kids. Maybe, I'll develop an appetite after everyone else is done."
Okay. But I'll make sure Alice saves part of the eggs and bacon for you."
"Okay."
Laurie's just a little jealous of Alice at times. I guess girls are like that. But Laurie's getting to the age when she's beginning to get her ideas of dolls and toys entwined with mature responsibilities. She's never had them like Alice, and, in a way, I'm kind of glad, because I'm sorry that Alice has missed the things in life that ordinary girls get. Despite the difference, though, they love each other, and that's the most important thing.
"Say, dad, tonight's the night."
"The night for what, Marty?"
"The good fairy."
"What good fairy?"
"The one that comes when you're asleep and picks up something from under your pillow and leaves money for it."
"What --?"
"I gotta loose tooth."
"Oh, that fairy. Well, maybe the tooth won't come out today."
"Sure it will. I can tell. I ought a get a quarter for this one, too."
"Why? The fairy only left a dime last time."
"Yeah! But that was for a little tooth, and this one is a great big one. It's right here in the front. Want to feel it?"
"No, son, that won't be necessary. And you let it alone, too. Just let it come out naturally. You shouldn't rush things like that."
"Okay, dad. But I betcha it comes out today. Wait and see."
"If it does, it does. Have you finished your breakfast?"
"Sure. It was good too."
"Fine. Now, you'd better hurry on upstairs and get dressed for school."
"Okay, day."
Knowing Marty like I do, I wouldn't dare bet with him on the tooth. It'll drop out today for sure. That's the way my luck has been running lately.
Sometimes I think I could shoot the guy who invented the good tooth fairy. That fairy is almost as bad as the wolf at times. Where the hell am I going to get a quarter to put under his pillow? He's sure not going to like it if he wakes up to find no reward. I just don't like to shock my kids that way, but sometimes I can't help it; life just isn't always a bunch of rubber cushions.
"Dad, here's your breakfast."
"I thought I told you I wasn't hungry, Wonderland."
"Nope! Wasn't me, dad. Must've been Laurie."
"Yes, I guess it was."
"Hungry or not, you'll have to eat now. Everybody else is full, and we can't let good food go to waste."
"You're right there, Wonderland. We just can't afford that. What did you fix?"
"Half your grapefruit and a bacon and egg sandwich."
"Why don't you divide the sandwich among the kids? The grapefruit is plenty for me."
"It is not! Besides, I told you that everyone is full clear up to their eyes."
"Well, all right, Wonderland. Just set it down where I can reach it. Then you'd better start getting ready for school, too."
"Okay, dad."
"And by the way, tell everyone that I want to talk to them before they leave."
"All right, dad!"
I hate to keep bragging about the kids, but Alice sure knows how to get to a man's stomach. When she makes a bacon and egg sandwich, you can bet it's made right. She also knows how to cut a grapefruit better than some women twice her age. The wolf sure won't ever get to her. Heck! She can start with nothing in the kitchen and come up with a tasty meal every time.
But, then, she can get also frustrated, if you don't watch her. Funny, I should put it that way, but I don't know exactly how else to put it. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that she's got this thing about cakes. She flops on those with one hundred per cent accuracy. I guess she's tried a thousand times to bake a cake, but something always gets mixed up between the spoon and bowl and oven. But she won't give up. She grits her teeth and tries again every chance she gets. Just the other day, she said, "Boy! if it's the last thing I ever learn, it's going to be to cook a decent cake." And I said, "Maybe that's your trouble, Wonderland. Maybe if you'd try to bake one instead of trying to cook one, it'd turn out just right." And she said, "Oh! Daddy!" and stomped away mad. She sure has a touchy boiling point. I guess she got that from her mother. Edie was like that herself, once in a while.
"Hey, dad! We're all ready for school,"
"Good enough, Harry. Get the rest of the kids rounded up and bring them in here."
"I'm here, pop!"
"Me, too, daddy."
"So am I."
"Wonderland?--"
"Yes, daddy. I'm here."
"Well, my little Smiths, do you know what day this is?"
"Yep! It's Friday."
"That's right, Marty. And what are you supposed to do today?"
"I don't know. I forgot."
"Miss Owens is coming tomorrow. Remember?"
"But, pop, you said she wouldn't be coming 'till next week."
"That was last week, John."
"I remember, daddy. We're supposed to bring our papers and stuff from school."
"That's right, Laurie."
"Aw...dad. Do we have to? Ain't there something else we can do?"
"No, Harry. Not this time. Remember, son, when a decision has been made, right or wrong, you've got to stick to the course. We went through all the reasons last week when we decided what we were going to do."
"Yeah. But that was because of the bad old wolf, daddy. And he hasn't got us yet. I don't want to change now."
What is to be is to be, Laurie. We all agreed last week to see this thing through, and we can't back out now."
"Yeah, Laurie, And you got elected sergeant, and you're 'posed to lead, not retreat."
"Oh! Really! Marty! You're perfectly dumb sometimes."
"Okay, everybody, no more arguments. We have to be ready for Miss Owens tomorrow, and no 'buts about it. now, how about some kisses, before you get started for school. Alice, make sure that Marty gets his over-shoes on the right feet."
"All right, daddy. Have a good day, and I'll see you this evening."
"Thank you Wonderland. You do the same."
"Humph...bye, daddy."
"Bye, Laurie."
"Bye, daddy."
Bye, Marty."
"See you tonight, pop."
"Straight home from school this evening, John. No short cuts."
"Sure thing, pop."
"Be thinking of something for me to do tonight, dad. We're down to nubbin's for groceries again. We sure don't want the wolf to get in now, do we?"
"Not now, or ever, Harry. I'll think of something. You can count on that."
"I know you will, dad. You always do. See ya later."
"See you, too."
"Yeah, dad."
"So long, son. Don't get into any fights today."
"So long. I won't."
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